the only thing worse than bad news, or rather the confirmation of something you knew, but never wanted to admit, is when it is passed on to you from an uninvolved, third party. i’m not sure if when people tell me things they make them out to be much worse than they really are. either way, its hard, it sucks and it fucking hurts. several people i care about kicked me to the cub this weekend, all for a similar reason. i hate having to pretend and lie. i hate it here half of the time, but by parents are so worried about me i know they’ll pull me out of school if i admit it.